Common Courtesy: Sleeping with the Dodo

Has common courtesy gone the way of the dodo? Maybe I’m just too old. Let me tell you what I mean.

If you’ve read my last couple of posts, you know that I was recently part of a Kara group that fell apart. I’m desperately trying to get into a new group to experience some of the BC endgame content before the new expansion hits and nobody wants to go anymore. AQ? Bless you!

I’ve spent the past week hitting the trade channel from time to time trying to recruit Kara ready players. It hasn’t worked at all. I have discovered that if you’re a Holy Paladin that you will get requests like crazy to join their guild. Interesting that it can be so nice to be wanted and yet annoying beyond belief all at the same time.

Since the recruiting wasn’t going so well, I decided to at least entertain the idea of joining another guild or hope to find one willing to group with us. So I watched the trade channel for recruiting macros. I asked for information such as a website, raid times, etc. Then I started hitting up Warcrafter and Be Imba! to review their gear levels and whether or not it appeared they really could do the raids they advertised.

Eventually I talked to someone that invited us to join their guild which I’m always wary to do initially. Want to try someone out before committing to joining. Don’t want to be known as a guild jumper. However, she seemed really nice and what we are looking for so I talked to her for a bit and said I’d talk to my friends about setting something up.

Skipping through some of the issues getting set up, which became apparent later, we joined up and started running through Karazhan. My first warning should have come when we showed up and I wasn’t sure who the other healer was. I later found out it was the GM I had been talking to. I could have sworn I ran a report on her and she was a tank. Maybe I was wrong, but I wasn’t sure and didn’t think about it. But maybe she was asked to respec.

It turned out that the raid leader had just joined the guild. Apparently he was there to help smaller guilds run through Karazhan and then move on to others in an attempt to train first time raiders for the end game content. That said I ran a Be Imba! report on him and he came out with Karazhan gear and a gear score of 174. Nothing indicating he had done the higher end content. Granted, I have no idea if he has an alt.

On the first pull he informed everyone to stand within melee range. Didn’t say why, just instructed everyone to stay in melee range. For ranged dps and healers this was a different concept. He offered no explanation, no one asked. At first I thought, OK we might have a “know-it-all” here, but I’ll give him a chance. Turns out he had a point.

I’ve been to Kara several times, but never really thought about the first trash pull. The groups I’ve been in have always done the classic stay out of range, etc. Some particular steeds charge when the aggro switches making it difficult for the tanks to stay on them. The closer you are the easier it is for the tank to get back. Only after it happened a few times did the Raid Leader sarcastically say “That’s why we stay in melee range.” This guy started to rub me the wrong way.
But again he was here to train these guys run Kara. This isn’t my guild. We’re here to test it out. Give it a chance and see what happens. The guy definitely did know and understand Kara and quite frankly pointed out some things that I knew but never thought about, or just didn’t know. Nothing big, nothing profound, just small things that made it go a little bit smoother.

By the time we got to Attumen and he explained the fight, we took the boss down with relative ease. The one difference for us is that it took almost twice as long as we are used to. This guild’s dps is very low compared to what we had in the past. It’s doable, but I don’t believe we’ll get too far the first few times with them. They need more gear to up that dps. We’re fine with helping out. We were there a month ago.

The Fiery Warhorse’s Reins dropped. Before rolling the RL announced that the GM, since she was the GM, would get a +10 roll to her roll for the reins. OK, I don’t know if this is typical in other guilds, but I’ve never seen this before. Just because someone is in a management position doesn’t entitle them to special benefits. Everyone is an equal. Everyone did their job to take down the boss. What entitles any particular person to be elevated above any other? Because it’s just the reins, I didn’t say anything. It also didn’t bother me that much, but I still think WTH?! Didn’t matter because my tanking friend won the roll anyway, which made me bust out laughing.

As we moved to the stairs to tackle the next boss, the Raid Leader informed us we were skipping Moroes and moving to Maiden. OK fine, I like Maiden more anyway. Still want her mace drop. Somewhere along the line he decides that he’s going to replace my fire mage friend with a shadow priest. Not sure why and never found out. He announces in voice chat “Thanks for coming, appreciate it.” and then kicks him out of the party and invites another. My friends and I are stunned! We don’t know what just happened! There was no warning, there was no request, just a blatant dismissal and let’s move on.

At once, my warrior friend announces that he can leave too if they want to bring a mage and leaves the party. I whisper the GM that I’m leaving as well that “We don’t play that way. We all succeed together or fail together. I’d be just as upset if he kicked out one of yours without asking.” The four of us promptly left Karazhan.
The GM spent the rest of the evening apologizing saying the RL was new and didn’t know how things were done. She said this isn’t typical of her guild and not allowed. She didn’t know he was going to do that. Basically she spent the evening trying to salvage whatever potential relationship we might have. We all agreed that she was sincere, but regardless if this guy knows his stuff or not, that’s no excuse for lack of common courtesy.

My friends and I play to hang out with friends, experience new content together, celebrate in each other’s victories, help each other out, etc. This guild appears to have the same attitudes towards the game as we do.

We do not allow or accept the following:

Being told what, where, when, how, and with whom we can raid, quest, or group with.
Telling others what, where, when, how, and with whom they can raid, quest or group with.

Being told or telling others how to spec or play their classes.

Removing or replacing someone from a raid or group because we need to, want to, or just have the power to do so.

Everyone’s an equal, whether you’re in Tier 6 gear or the lowly level 5 in the guild.

Being rude or inconsiderate in any way, shape, or fashion. Just follow the Golden Rule.

Now I know exactly what raiders might say to the first two. Please re-read carefully what I wrote.

If a sign up system is set up and followed, that is different. If I can’t go because I signed up late, that’s my fault. No one dictated. If a rank system is set up that supersedes sign up times, again that is different. If I’m told that I can’t go because my gear is inadequate, that is different. Basically, if I’m being told to do something arbitrarily, I won’t do it. There must be a reason and that reason must be valid and fair.

I don’t tell you how to play your class, don’t tell me how to play mine. I’m barely an expert, if at all, at my own class. I’d look like an idiot telling you what to do. Besides, it’s rude. Offering advice has its place. It must be handled lightly and with care. Generally speaking, don’t do it. Let the person’s friend do it; whatever it takes to avoid hurting feelings. Raiders might find that statement stupid. But my response is what gave you the right to be an ass because you’re hiding behind an online avatar? Ask yourself, would you do this in person? If so, how would you handle it? Given that the average person is at least somewhat of a decent person, handle it that way.

If you set up a group for whatever reason and someone in that group isn’t cutting it, you fail together. Accept it. Kicking someone out will only lead to hurt feelings, anger, bitterness, guild drama, etc. Abandon and regroup another time. Easier said than done. Hopefully if you are one of those people, please offer to leave. It makes it easier on everyone else who doesn’t want to be rude. If you are asked to leave in a polite manner, please do so and remember that as the others gear up and move through, they'll be that much better to help you to come back.

There is no problem with asking a particular person to leave. You’ll ask them to not take it personal, but please realize that they will. If they refuse, disband and end it. You accepted their help. They got you to whatever point you ended up at. They deserve to see it to the end or none do. If they accept, replace them and move on. Common courtesy.

My question is am I unrealistic to expect these things in a raiding guild? Are there no raiding guilds out there like this? If there are any in Arathor, please let me know because I’m looking for one.

Have I just gotten old? Or is common courtesy sleeping with the dodo? Continue reading 'Common Courtesy: Sleeping with the Dodo'

Kyrilean's Journal: Slave Pens (An Heroic Adventure) and Finding Friends

Yesterday was a long day in Azeroth, but a great one!

The first thing I did was spend a lot of time getting my cooking skill up. It had been around 125 for more than 30 levels and I've been level 70 for smoe time now. It's just a skill that I neglected, primarily because I didn't have recipes that would allow me to upgrade the skill. Most of the recipes I knew were green. I keep hearing about this daily cooking quest and heard that you can also make good money with the higher level recipes.

Eventually a couple of guild members came online and I was asked to help with the quest chain leading to the Ogri'La daily quests. It surprised me that we were able to accomplish these quests with five people in just over an hour. When I did them it took a group of 10-12 over three hours! I don't know what we were doing wrong back then, but OMG! LOL!!! And it isn't the gear, although Yec, Dyna, and I were part of the large group and have upgraded a little since then, we haven't upgraded that much.

I was initially supposed to go to Karazhan for the first time tonight. A friend of Yec's needed a healer and actually wanted one the night before, but I was questing with Yec and others and wasn't all that excited to go with a bunch of people I didn't know. I hadn't seen the guy on and the time was getting close. I was invited to go with a Dyna and Zeza to finish a heroic Ramparts instance. They had tried earlier in the day and had only taken the first boss down. I felt bad about leaving Yec to herself, although she said I shouldn't. Later on, Dyna and I were talking about getting Yec to go and I told Yec I decided she had to come on the next one, since she was giving me maybes.

We spent just over an hour getting to the second boss only to find he wasn't there! LOL! The other guys not in our group had come back and finished the instance! We ran over to see if the main boss was there and he was gone too! LOL! Well chalk this one up to practice.

Zeza, Dyna, and I looked for others to go to Slave Pens and get some badges there. This time we ended up with a mage to help and it went really quick. I think we were through the entire instance in about an hour or less. I wasn't even fully mana'd up before they were off running attacking the next group. I don't know if it was the other two we ended up with, but Slave Pens was much easier than Ramparts. I got 3 Badges of Justice out of the thing which doubles the number I have. It's also the first heroic instance that I completed from beginning to end, having only ever been in three others. One time I got two badges and another time only one. The third time I didn't get anything.

Although the heroic instance was great when it comes to advancing in the game, the part that really made the day a great one was the time I spent helping out a friend finish a lot of quests and leveling. It was a lot of fun and with it being just the two of us somehow the talk drifted towards a personal level. We have similar problems in our real lives and have similar views on life. I've made a "new" friend. Continue reading 'Kyrilean's Journal: Slave Pens (An Heroic Adventure) and Finding Friends'

Struggling with Online Friendships

Author's Note: Although, I've had this idea floating about in my head for a little while now, the motivation to finally write this came from Belgarath at Blog Azeroth. It took a really long time because it became overly winded with ideas I found interesting, but were too tangential to the topic. I haven't had time to read through any new posts that may have appeared since I started. I hope that I am not just repeating what everyone else has already stated.

By the way, I just want to point out that I looked up “friend” on Wikipedia. What I found was a definition for friendship; “Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans.”

Given that this is true, then there are very few friends within the world of Azeroth. Sorry guys, all you elves, dwarves, gnomes, draenai, and horde players are screwed! :)

Several people have posted comments already that friends are friends no matter what forum you find them in. Can you truly consider those you meet online as friends? This is a concept that I’ve been struggling with for some time now and I think I’ve found out why. The real question is “Why do we struggle with the concept of online friendship?”

What is friendship? I believe we can all agree that the definition above is one way to describe friendship and that it is a very basic, bare-bone description at that. All of us have our own interpretations and additional criteria we associate with friendship. I myself disagree with the definition only because I can think of several people that I am forced to co-operate with and support in my workplace, neighborhood, and even a couple in my extended family—not talking about my in-laws :)—that I would never consider a friend. I would add that a friend is someone you care about on a personal level. I specify “care” instead of “love” because I have had people that I considered friends, but wouldn’t say I “loved” them. I cared about their personal welfare and always wished them well, but the caring didn’t extend enough to go out of my way to make sure they were taken care of; such feelings and actions I equate with “love”.

Think back as far as you can to when you were very young. If you can think back to kindergarten, try to go back to then. How did you first make friends? It’s possible that you knew a few of the kids in your grade either through parents, church, or just in your neighborhood. Either way, chances are you made friends with them because primarily you were in the same class and associated with them. You had a similar forum in which you could relate to others.

How is this different than meeting people online? It’s not. WoW gives us all a forum in which we can meet people that have similar interests as we do; the basic foundation of which is WoW. From there we get to know people by grouping up for quests and instances and an even better forum through joining guilds. Over time we may begin to feel a certain bond between those we often adventure with. And why shouldn’t we? We are spending time with these people albeit through online avatars. Does that make it any less real? No.

I think the real question is “Why do we struggle with the concept of online friendship?” Well, there are lots of reasons. Online predators come to mind. I’m a parent with two young children. As they get older, my fear of online predators will increase. Another reason is that it is very easy for people to lie online. You aren’t face to face with these people and cannot see body language or hear inflections in their voice (unless using voice chat). They can even claim to be the other sex and you’d never know. There are a million reasons, but we all get the idea.

Bottom line, if you meet someone that you like associating with online and they with you, then you’re probably friends. There are different levels of friendship online, just like in the “real world”. There are people I consider “work friends” that I wouldn’t associate with in my private life. Just like that example, just because you wouldn’t associate with the people you meet online in your normal daily life, doesn’t mean they aren’t a friend.
Continue reading 'Struggling with Online Friendships'

FIELD OF HONOR – A World of Warcraft Guild; Friends in the Making

I started playing WoW in June of 2007. It was primarily because of buying a new laptop for my wife. (See World of Warcraft Addiction.)Burning Crusade had recently come out and there was a lot of hype about it. Everyone was excited. I had never played and actually had never talked to anyone that had. I just didn’t see the point of paying for a game and then re-paying every month to keep playing. The whole concept still baffles me a little and I wonder if I would do this with any other MMORPG.

When people are asked why they play WoW perhaps the most common answer is the social aspect. I have nothing to base this on, but after reading several articles, talking to people within the WoW community, reading blogs, etc. this answer seems to be a very common one. Initially I didn’t really see the attraction. For the most part, I am a very private person. I have only a handful of people in my life that I would call friends and only one in my life that I truly consider a friend. But I have to admit that I have gained a few social bonds within the WoW community that I enjoy. Those social bonds are found with the guild community.

As stated, my first couple of months was spent soloing because I hadn’t really gotten into the social aspect of the game. I ended up joining a guild somewhere near level 20. The guild was brand new and didn’t have many people, but there were a couple of cool guys in it. Unfortunately the guild started to stagnate quickly and eventually I left to find another guild that could help out and that I could join for instances. I eventually found a larger guild that had quite a mix of players. I was actually impressed with the guild because the guild leader was maybe 14 and acted a lot more mature than I would have expected from someone that age. But the majority of the guild was refusing to get Burning Crusade and I was quickly approaching level 58. Although I debated leaving the guild, even though I still wasn’t extremely social within that one, I eventually left when a friend of mine invited me to FIELD OF HONOR.

Granted I’ve only now been in three guilds, but I have to say this is the BEST GUILD EVER! When I first joined there were maybe 6 members that were level 70. I wasn’t level 70, but ended up being the 7th or 8th to reach that. Generally speaking we average 70 members at any given time. Granted nearly everyone has at least one alt and there’s a couple that have several. I’ve never done a count of how many actual players there are in the guild. But that doesn’t matter considering it’s the quality and not the quantity of the guild. Sure we have aspirations towards raiding someday, but we can always join up with other guilds to do that.

The best thing about this guild is that the “Founders” and “Officers” generally have online personalities that coincide with mine. What do I mean? They are all very willing and ready to help anyone in the guild and even others that aren’t. But they resent those that are looking for handouts. We often have people join the guild thinking that they can ask every level 70 to help them with every quest, every instance, gold, equipment, enchantments, etc. I once had someone who had been in the guild two days ask if anyone could enchant his weapon with fiery enchant. I told him I could, but he’d have to provide the mats. He expressed his disappointment and without a word ended up leaving the guild about five minutes later. We all got a pretty good laugh out of that one!

As odd as it sounds and even though this may come out as sentimental drivel, I feel I’ve made four really good friends on WoW through FIELD OF HONOR and good friends with the rest of them. Because of that I look forward to playing WoW even more than I normally would. The game really is designed for the social environment and the guild is perhaps the best way to do that. I give thanks to all those in FIELD OF HONOR that make WoW that much better! Continue reading 'FIELD OF HONOR – A World of Warcraft Guild; Friends in the Making'